Jordan Hoffart Interview Part 2

NS: Look, you ride for Indy. Come on, step it up...

So your place is by Lower Hastings? Do you have any great Lower Hastings stories for our readers? Lower Hastings is the heroin and crack capital of the west coast of Canada. People shoot up in daylight and you trip over broken crack pipes just walking down the street.

JH: Okay, one day I was at the Plaza and this butt naked hooker just cracked out on some weird stuff was walking across the street screaming and acting insane and she has something between her legs. At first we could not see what it was.

NS: Labia majora?

JH: No, close though. So after we looked closer we noticed this thing and then we finally figured it out when she got closer. I thought it was butt beads or something till she was 30 feet out. I know we are eating, but anyway, it was her intestines. They were hanging out like somebody cut her open in the back and pulled her inners out. Like a full ass sock of the colon just hanging. She was screaming and in a lot of pain.

NS: Like pinksock.com? How does that happen? Like mad colon blow walking down the street?

JH: Word, her colon was just blown out. It was sad.

NS: Damn colon snipers must have got her. She must have owed some dude mad cash or something.

DD: Can we stop there? I cannot eat.

TD: Man, I am not feeling so hot after hearing that.

NS: Shut up both of you. Let the man speak.

JH: The cops came and they were so dumbfounded by what was going on. They just stood there looking at her as well. I was like, what are you guys going to do? Shoot a dart in her neck, try to tranquilize her and bring her in, or what?

NS: So what did they do?

JH: Well, she could not sit down. I mean you could not just grab her. She could not just sit down right now.

NS: WOW.

JH: So they had to wait till the ambulance came and tried to sedate her. She was fighting it, screaming and kicking, the cops and paramedics all had to scramble to toss her on a gurney and take her in. They just took off. My homey filmed it.

NS: Sounds like pure pandemonium. I have heard that you guys are one of the biggest ports in the world so tons of drugs come in from all over and they are dirt cheap there. Is that why Hastings is so filled with adversity and strife?

JH: Yes, completely. There are a lot of break-ins. My loft has been broken into. My whole room just got jacked, 100 DVDS, gear, electronics, you name it.

NS: What were some of the DVDS that got jacked that you miss most?

JH: Thunder Cats Season 1.

NS: Puppets That Kill or New Kids in the Hall?

JH: No dice on either of them. They both suck.

NS: Come on.

JH: That is like Transformers or Fraggle Rock.

NS: Tory Goodall. Where is the Canadian master of shred?

JH: I can't put words into Tory's mouth for why he didn't pursue skateboarding as a career path. But I do know he still shreds hard and will always be one of the most influential skateboarders that impacted my life and progression on the board. He's a stand up gent and he'll teach you a thing or to whether it's on or off a skateboard.

NS: Do the Indy guys ever give you a hard time for riding for 16 and Tracker?

JH: No, I barely know those guys. I am on a need to know basis email. I shot with Lance once and it was the only time I ever met him and he is tight, a real straight shooter and he is down and I am stoked. I mean I ride Indy's anyway so it was rad to be able to get them for free. I would just trade in whatever else for Indy's anyway.

NS: Same here I used to ride for a brand x truck co. and I traded them in for Indy's at my local shop up in Portland. Same went for bearings, I traded in anything for Swiss back in the day. Speaking bearings, you ever get any ceramics in the mail?

JH: Maybe 2 times. Not that often they're well guarded.

NS: So you just got back from Japan on a visit to see your lady. Do you speak any Japanese?

JH: Yeah, I took it in high school instead of French.

NS: Did you see Jeremy Klein over there?

JH: Yeah, I heard the women worship that man over there from his hookup's fame. He just wears all his video game systems and walks around and gets mad love. I hear all sorts of stories.

NS: What is the exchange rate of the Yen to the Canadian dollar?

JH: The Canadian dollar is killing it right now. I think it is 115 Yen to one Canadian dollar. You save mad money over there cause you do not tip over there. So you save a gang of money.

NS: What are some of the highlights of Japan? Other than your girlfriend of course.

JH: The bullet train was fun and we went to Disney Sea and it is the same deal but a water theme and I was disappointed they did not have Finding Nemo or the Little Mermaid. The 2 biggest water films out of Disney. But they had Indiana Jones and an Arabian coast, it was just a ploy to tie in Aladdin.

NS: Was it hard to adjust to the culture of southern California, long drives, bad tap water, and air that is filled with smog after coming from BC where the water is perfect, the air is amazing and the trees make new oxygen so humans can breathe?

JH: Yeah, but there jumping on the train on what is going on here. See, Canada is such a young history there is not a certain tradition we stick to. I mean I guess the natives do, but we are so young things are changing all the time. Like white people seem to not relate to that. We have so many foreigners coming in. We have a huge East Indian population and a huge Chinese population. So things are changing all the time and evolving. We are all over the map and Canada is the type of place that is like, cool, whatever, just do what you want. We hate confrontation. So it will be a huge problem later on.

NS: Do you think it is bad you guys are a part of the common wealth then? Due to the fact people can migrate more easily now?

JH: I think it could be controlled better. I mean like, you jump off a boat and you are just like yeah, cool, here I am, feed me. It is sad, whole families hiding in huge shipping crates, 3 months at sea, just pissing, shitting and in darkness. It sucks they were slaves and it is great you made it here but we as tax payers are going to go broke putting up all these immigrants and there will be a breaking point. And when that happens, it will suck.

NS: So a sea of concrete and strip malls looks good to you after that?

JH: I am a big fan of concrete.

NS: What do you love about Southern California?

JH: The people I surround myself with, I meet so many great people here. Like all my friends over at Powell. They are like the only one of my sponsors who have stuck with me over the years and backed me up no matter what. I mean I've been with them for 6 years I have seen so many team managers come and go, so many changes. It is rad to have Jarred Lucas come on board. Me, Deville and Jarred all live together and we are a tight knit group.

NS: What are some of the projects you guys are working on over there at Skate One?

JH: Powell promo coming soon, Spring 08. No filler, all hammers, it will be great. We are building a great team, John White, Josh Hawkins, Derrick Delindorf, his nick name is Death Wish. And then we found out Bakers new video is going to be death wish, so I was like oh shit there goes our marketing campaign.

NS: You guys have a name for the video yet?

JH: No, I would tell you some of the ideas but I do not want to piss anybody off.

NS: Why is this cat's name Death Wish?

JH: He does not care or think about what he is trying, he just does it. He rips and is very good skater but he is straight up stunts. This could go either way right now. He just goes for it, it is amazing, I am like oh shit, you could die right there if you bailed. It is so wild to watch.